dead men tell no tales...

...and drink no wine, and are therefore no good at parties

Friday, August 19, 2005


G to the Mail

So one interesting thing that I've noticed, now that I've had Gmail for about 13 months or so, is that going back through your old email actually can be interesting. I just stumbled upon a list I submitted to McSweeney's, but on which they passed. So, I'm going to reprint it here, in the format that they should have in the first place, dammit.
French Phrases No Man Should Utter To His Lover While In Bed, Unless, Of Course, She Does Not Understand French, With Translations by Steve Paulo - - - -
"Vous sentez aussi beau que l'âne d'un ours" -- ("You smell as lovely as the ass of a bear") "Votre visage m'incite à pleurer incontrôlablement" -- ("Your face makes me weep uncontrollably") "Votre soeur est étonnante dans le lit" -- ("Your sister is amazing in the sack") "Mais la fille dans la vidéo d'adulte l'a aimée" -- ("But the girl in the porno loved it") "L'essai est revenu positif" -- ("The test came back positive") "Je badinais seulement, je suis vraiment une femme" -- ("I was only kidding, I am really a woman")
Shit. I thought it was funny. Did I ever mention they added a "REASON WE MIGHT SEND BACK OR DISLIKE YOUR SUBMISSION" based specifically on something I sent them? I only know, because they never responded, and then added it... Oh yeah. I did that. Specifically. The list was called "A Quasi-Random Sample of Email Subject Lines From One Dot-Com Company's Customer Service Inbox, Unedited." I rule!

<< Home


February 2005   March 2005   April 2005   May 2005   June 2005   July 2005   August 2005   September 2005   October 2005   November 2005   December 2005   January 2006   February 2006   March 2006  

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?