dead men tell no tales...

...and drink no wine, and are therefore no good at parties

Sunday, May 29, 2005


The bitch stoppd screaming.



there is a bitch here at Dans...

...Who keeps FUCKING SCREAMING while playing pool. What the shit is that shit? Heather is getting pissed and i love it. More, perhaps, later


at the San Ramon Art & Wind Festival

Very cool. Will go into detail later. Signed up to win sailing lessons.


at the Bridgeport now

So Im at the complex, waiting for Eric so we can fill out the applications and then cross our fingers.

Last night was cool. Heather and I met up with my mom & dad and my brother Nick and his girlfriend, Jess, at Il Fornaio. Pretty tasty, in my opinion (had some lobster ravioli). After, Nick and Jess came out to Dans with us.

Eric just showed up. So later...

Saturday, May 28, 2005


just for Pound

I am moblogging. You are so fucking jealous, and, currently, standing right next to me. Ha Ha.


think we found our place...

It appears Eric and I may have found an apartment, and on the first day looking, no less!

Called The Bridgeport, the complex is located on Oak Rd, just north of Walden. Itd be far to walk to downtown, but not all that far out, and its near Pleasant Hill BART and 680. The apt is 1000 sqft, 2 bd 2 br, balcony, W/D in unit, central air, private 1-car garage, secure building, pool, hot tub, fireplace... FUCKIN SICK. Its near the top end of our price range at $1400, but seems well worth it. Think were going to pay the app fee tomorrow. Rock.

Friday, May 27, 2005



Testing a post from my phone


haven't mentioned it in a while, so....

196 days, 14 hours, 13 minutes, 10 seconds

Thursday, May 26, 2005


Yeah. Another blog.

And no. I don't care that I don't update my other ones currently. These things are like disposable tissues. Clicky.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005


yo ho yo ho a pirate's life for me...

arrrrr, Disney's Virtual Magic Kingdom game is now in beta test. And, living up to its status as a beta, I've yet to get it to work. AVAST THAR, YA SCURVY SCUM!

pics from my brother's graduation...

....are available here. I may add them to the sidebar at some point.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005



Heather's blog is shake'n'bake. And I helped!

Monday, May 23, 2005


snoop doggy dogg gots ta bloggy blogg

My brother graduated from California State University, Chico with Distinction in Public Administration on Sunday. The little bastard be showing me up! Good thing I love the punk. I'm buying myself this camera, and sooner than I ought to, I'm sure: The Canon EOS Digital Rebel XT It's just sooooo pretty. I will put up some shots I took with my regular Canon Digital Elph PowerShot S410 this weekend at bro's grad. I also took about 20 mins of video, and if I figure out how, may post some of it as well. One more hour here today. Then four more days at HomeGain. Then a three day weekend. Then the start of something new, and scary, and frightening... but hopefully rewarding and fun. We'll see. Oh, and 200 days, 10 hours, 8 minutes and 40 seconds until Disney World... word.

Thursday, May 19, 2005


new pictures section -------->

Sure, it makes the page a little busier, but all that was over there was the damn tree anyway.

haven't felt like blogging lately...

I don't think I realized how tense and stressed I've been lately with the whole switching jobs thing... and I'm still here at HG another 6 work days after today. Everything kind of came to a head yesterday, I was completely frustrated and had me a little panic attack or something... not quite a nervous breakdown, I don't think... but nothing good, that's for sure. Ended up missing the A's game altogether, which, of course, the ended up winning by like a bazillion runs. Candice is all into Anna Nalick, which is awesome. BTW dear, the song is "Breathe (2am)" and yes... it's awethum. Heather comes home tomorrow. Thank god. It's not been easy being away from her for so long. This is by leaps and bounds the most time we've spent apart (counting that she left monday morning and so I saw her around 11pm Sunday, and will hopefully see her around, say, 5 or 6pm tomorrow (maybe later), it's at least 115 hours) since we began dating, and I never want to spend so much time apart from her again. Normally, we don't spend more than 24 hours apart... usually less. I am about to book Part One of our December Disney World trip... and, I'm beginning to put together some surprises. Just like Disneyland for Valentine's Day, Heather... you didn't think I'd take you to WDW for a week and not toss in a surprise or two, did you? Of course not. Now, if you'll excuse me, Subsonic Radio is currently playing "Baroque Hoedown," a Main Street Electrical Parade cover by They Might Be Giants. Ta-ta.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005


i had the little countdown timer to our WDW trip set wrong...

206 days, 12 hours, 7 minutes, 38 seconds

Monday, May 16, 2005



I listened to my boss's counteroffer this afternoon, and just as I expected, she was only allowed to offer me essentially the same pay as the new place offered. So, when I count in the increased benefits package, the location, the opportunity, and the fact that I will finally stop having to work with a couple people I can't stand... I will be moving on. I told her though, if she ever leaves HG, she needs to give me a ring... working for Anne Casanova has been the best professional experience in my life. No one could ask for more from a boss, that's for sure. But, it is time to move on. We're going to tell the rest of the department tomorrow morning, together. Kind of sad... but so incredibly exciting to be moving on. Now... about that bike helmet...

less than 200 days now...

198 days, 16 hours, 25 minutes, 11 seconds

Friday, May 13, 2005


oh yeah

informal offer. slightly less than I wanted, still more than I'm making, with a review at 6mos... official offer letter to come...


Heather and I celebrated 4 months together this week. Officially it was on Wednesday. We didn't do much besides spend time together and look ridiculously cute down at Dan's. But it got me to thinking...

This is now officially my longest relationship, by quite a large margin. Previously, I'd been in three separate relationships that had not one of them broken the 2 month barrier. Sad, I know. But I think there is something to that... I think I may be taking what I found for granted.

Not to say I don't love her. Not to say I don't tell her I love her, and show her I love her, every day if possible. I love her family, my family loves her, and from what I hear, her family loves me too. It's all very nice... but I don't think I've let it sink in yet that I have... not "may have," not "might have," have... found "the one." Maybe I haven't let that sink in because, in many ways, it's freakin' frightening. I'm 25, and was always the guy who screamed "No way before 30!"

Let's just say that if things remain as they are, even if they can't quite hold their current, luminous quality, but remain really fuckin' good... it's not gonna take me five years to do the whole priest-family-altar-ring thing. No chance. I couldn't even hold out that long if I wanted to, and I doubt I want to.

So here's to you, my love. Thank you for being you, and thank you for making me comfortable enough to remain myself... something no previous girlfriend could seem to do for me, not in the least.

Oh, and one more thing. You kick ass.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005


is it bad luck when...

...someone comes to temp for your company, and promptly suffers a debilitating seizure? I sure hope that lady is gonna be okay... sounded scary... plus, I (like many of my coworkers) would have no idea what to do for her... none of my family members suffers from seizures (epileptic or otherwise... not sure what her's was) so I haven't had to deal with them or help someone recover... Still... just goes to show what 6 hours in this joint can do to you... Ha.

i hate playing the waiting game

both for *that* and for this... 203 days, 13 hours, 21 minutes, 5 seconds

Tuesday, May 10, 2005



My current commute:

My (hopefully) new commute:



204 days, 13 hours, 47 minutes, 1 second I am fully on my Aerosmith kick, btw...

Monday, May 09, 2005


Shit, meet Fan. Fan, Shit.

Roy E. Disney and Stanley Gold, the creators of the Save Disney campaign and organizers of 2004's massive 45%+ No Confidence Vote in Disney's departing CEO Michael Eisner have sued the House of Mouse, claiming the Board defrauded shareholders and lied about the CEO selection process which eventually resulted in Eisner lackey Bob Iger getting the nod. Dude needs a booster seat to sit in Walt's throne, and no, I'm not saying he's short of stature... just of competence and character. War Roy.

Friday, May 06, 2005


Katie Holmes is ewwwwwy.....


old and busted: HomeGain. new hotness: Robert Anthony

Interview on Monday, 4pm. They want to see me ASAP. Stizzoked!

i just noticed...

Robert Anthony Strategic Marketing & Design is located at: 1450 Maria Lane, Suite 200, Walnut Creek, Inc. is located at: 1450 45th Street, Suite 200, Emeryville. 1450? 200? I'm shiverin' over here... eerie... Here's to hoping Tricia Boos over there at Robert Anthony emails me back today... cross yer fingers, everyone!

Thursday, May 05, 2005


in honor of the 50th anniversary celebration starting today...

...I finally put up a "Coming Soon" graphic at The Happiest Page on Earth. I'm having fun with this faded-background, full-color foreground photoshop stuff. I think it looks swell. I just found out there's ALSO a podcast from the festivities at WDW... downloading now...

Disneyland podcasts

I'm digging this podcast shit... trying to listen to the podcast from Day One of the three-day Disneyland 50th anniversary event (today's the third day)... I like this whole podcast idea... neat.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005


new machine, all set up

except for Feedreader, which didn't import my god damn feeds. Oh well. I shall persevere.

new machine coming

I'm getting a new work PC. I currently have a P3-500MHz with 256MB of RAM... I'm getting a P4-1.3GHz with 512MB of RAM... WOOHOO!!! Unfortunately, this means I need to figure out all the applications I use... Firefox, w.bloggar, Gaim, Feedreader, MouseTrack, Picasa2, etc... and either save their install files or go re-download them. Then there's all my settings... bookmarks, extensions, plugins, etc... This is gonna suck. But I will like having the newer, faster machine... for certain.

From the Onion's "News in Brief":

NEW YORK -- Due to the falling out between Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton, producers of Fox's The Simple Life are continuing their search for the perfect spoiled, no-talent socialite cunt to step in for Richie. "It shouldn't be too hard to find another vapid, muddied cum-dumpster perpetually drunk on the jizz of trust-fund himbos," producer Jonathan Murray said. "Any million-dollar Bambi with a vast inheritance and no ambition will do, though gutter-sluts with coke-fueled pasts will be given special consideration." Murray added that "it doesn't matter if her pussy rattles when the wind blows -- we can fix that in post."


The Happiest Homecoming on Earth - slash - Happiest Celebration on Earth festivities officially kick off today at Disneyland, with a media day. Disneyland is closed to the public today, but as Alex Stroup of MousePlanet mentions, attendence won't be light. MP has continuous coverage all day today and tomorrow for the big bash, so if you're inclined, check their coverage out. I'm over here, like, creaming every time there's an update. I guess they have some WiFi shit going down or whatnot.

wish me luck...

In response to this: (from CL)

Junior E-Marketing Developer/Programmer (walnut creek)
Reply to:
Date: 2005-05-02, 12:02PM PDT

We're a small -- 6 person -- but established -- 15+ years -- strategic marketing and design firm looking to find someone to take over junior responsiblities from our swamped Marketing Technologist (aka Senior Programmer). This is NOT a large network/server implementation/management position. We also are not hiring for any other position, so please only apply if this is truly a match.

Compensation: $35 - 45K annual salary plus benefits

Expert Level HTML
Solid Use of Style Sheets
Server-side Scripting (PHP. ASP, JSP)
Basic Photoshop and Illustrator
Javascript a plus

1. Primary Responsibility: E-mail production -- produce html e-mails from existing design, send them, and perform all the other tasks related to tracking, testing, and managing our clients' databases and the execution of their e-mail campaigns. You can see an example of the kind of work we are producing here by going here.

2. Web site production and maintenance -- we don't need a designer or strategic planner/content developer, but someone with some design aesthetic and a good sense of what makes for good UI. We primarily hand code HTML, in a Windows environment. This position will support the lead programmer on some site dev, but will mostly focus on enhancement and maintenance of existing sites from a front-end coding standpoint, not app dev. For a sense of the level of site work we are doing, see and

3. Bonus Skill: General office network, hardware and software support -- you know, the person everyone goes to and says "I can't print. I'm not getting any e-mail. What's this funny blue screen." We're a multi-platform environment, have a Net Integrator network box, have a leased box offsite for hosting a dozen client domains, and also act as free technical support for a good number of our clients.

Ideally your knowledge is more broad than deep, and you have some experience in all of these areas, especially in the e-mail arena. The level of work probably doesn't require more than a couple of years of experience, but with a very "I can figure out how to do this" attitude. Due to our size and volume, this is not a learning-focused environment. You must arrive ready-to-go. We're a normal group with normal clients and we work fairly normal hours. We all self-manage, meaning you need to be good at managing your own projects, priorities and time, and ultimately be responsible for the accuracy and quality of your work. So you'll need to be resourceful and able to creatively problem solve... and like doing it.

If you think this sounds like the kind of work you'd like to be doing, we'd appreciate a cover letter and resume sent by e-mail to

Since we are a small group with limited time -- your subject line and intro paragraph are key to getting our attention.

Thanks for your time and interest.

I wrote this:

Subject: ludicrously talented HTML/hardware/email guy seeks controlled insanity


My current job, while interesting in its own way, does not allow me to be a part of a vibrant, exciting group of creative people. While I like the work I do... HTML design (by hand, in Notepad) and deployment of demand gen marketing emails, writing/publishing (in Illustrator and HTML) newsletters for external and internal purposes, being the "tech nerd" my Marketing cohorts can go to, etc... I feel stifled in an environment with too many suits and not enough crazy ideas flying around.

My thirst for knowledge runs deep, and marketing, especially, is wildly fascinating to me. I want to learn more, as much and as fast as I can. But I also want to utilize what I have learned so far in as efficient, and productive a way as possible. Your firm sounds like the right place for me.

After viewing your ad on, I went over to to take a look. Loved what I saw... and am hoping you'll give me a chance to talk to you folks in person. Please do contact me with any questions.

~Steve Paulo
Online Marketing Developer, Inc.
cell: 925-917-0869

Check them out. They're off Newell Ave.


never mind

she's coming in at 1pm. Oh well.

boss is out today...

she'll be in at 4pm. Lucky for me I get off at 4pm. No meetings today. we'll see how crazy I go.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005



I'm excited that I finally put all of my online shit together at one place, and am making at least halfhearted use of one of my two remaining domain names (not long ago I owned a dozen... I've been letting many of them (,,,, so on, so on) expire)... I figure I will always own Now I just need to do something with there ain't nothing there! And, I should probably start posting to my Oakland A's blog, since I have an active link to it now...

all my shit in one place

salespeople can be loud

Like really, really fucking loud. I haven't listened to my iPod at all today. That's how crazy it's been. Though it has now slowed down some. four and a half hours before I can leave... 222 days, 12 hours, 28 minutes, 55 seconds Ahem. Putting on the iPod now. So yeah, salespeople. So loud. There's a gaggle of these shysters not far from me. A couple psuedowalls over and a pseudohallway or two down. They really need to shut the fuck up. [ listening to: Iron & Wine - Free Until They Cut Me Down ]


Steve Can't Cook.

Toilet paper is deceptive

When Heather and I were at Costco last weekend, I noticed that for sale were huge 24-packs of toilet paper. $14.99, if I recall. I looked at those massive bags of ass-wipingness and wondered, if I were to buy one of those big bags of buttcloth, would I ever again need to buy t.p.?

But t.p. is like that... it's deceptive.

Put a new roll on the holder in your bathroom and it looks full. Big, heavy, like you'll never run out. Then use some, and use some more; have a party and invite some friends over to use some as well. Sooner than later, your beloved big t.p. roll is shrinking with increased rapidity. It's in the design. The deceptive, manipulative design. See, as a t.p. roll turns, dispensing its hygenic product, it shrinks. And as the diameter of a cylinder shrinks, the distance covered by a single turn is reduced. When you first toss on a roll of t.p., one full turn-around may yield two or more whole squares of backside-cleaning goodness. But near the end of the t.p. roll lifecycle, a turn of the cardboard tubing may dispense a half sheet, or less, until you get down to the last square sheet...

Which wraps completely around the roll. For shame.

For SHAME! Those that sell the good people of America their t.p. should have, by now, found a way around the laws of physics to cease this seemingly endless charade! FOR SHAME!

It is 2005, after all! We have flying cars, the cure for cancer, and we brought Redd Fox back from the dead. I'd think by now, we could turn our attention, as a society, towards the enigmatic conundrum that is the ever-shrinking, deceptive, manipulative toilet paper roll.

For shame.

Monday, May 02, 2005



223 days, 11 hours, 28 minutes, 55 seconds

it is so great...

...when you hear a coworker you dislike getting her ass chewed by your boss... [ listening to: Pearl Jam - Spin the Black Circle ]

new comments apparently hurled itself off a seven-story building. Let me know how the new comments work out.

A weekend without rest is not really a weekend at all...

It's been a long weekend. I left work early on Friday for no good reason, and I am hoping my boss simply didn't notice (as she, too, was absent for the afternoon). I can't remember what happened Friday... I believe we went to Dan's and that's about it. I really don't remember. I just know I didn't make it to the gym and I'm a little hurt by my own actions, there. Saturday, made it out to the A's game which was awesome because Greg, Neel, Mr. Pinkjeans, was in town from Santa Hanna-Barbera (et tu, Booboo?)... And the A's won, in extras. Saturday night, we went back out to the bar, to help Angel celebrate his birthday in fine pukeity-yakkin' style (or fashion, if you prefer). Poor bastard booted at his place of employment. Sorry, scooted away there for second to, y'know, work. Anyway I got completely fucking fucked on Saturday and paid, dearly, dearly, dearly on Sunday morning... though Heather did everything in her power to make me feel better. And I have to say, she is nothing if not excellent at that. Anyway, we headed to Costco and I spent $60 on lunches for a month... which would be great, considering I am extremely hardpressed to get a lunch out for less than, say $6... and even that is lucky. With 12 bagel dogs, 6 chicken bakes, and 12 chicken sandwiches... plus the fixin's for at least a dozen sandwiches... I should be able to keep my lunch budget under tight restraing for at least the time being. My freezer looks odd with so many boxes though, I can say that. After that we went to Aaron's/Adam's barbeqeue... hung with rssl (rock) and got to see Messier for the first time in maybe 18 months... and he brought his god damn fiancee! I know, I couldn't believe it either. At any rate, we left fairly early... 8:30... to get home in time to catch the new Family Guy. Very funny, though Heather was noticeably miffed at the exclusion of the "Go. Away. Fat Man." comment from Stewie, which must have been teasing a future episode. We also watched American Dad. Family Guy was hilarious. So much so that it was equally as funny as American Dad was not so. I know... that's some interesting grammar. Feel free to correct me if you have the requisite adamantium cojones. I miss writing and I want to get my book about Disney really started... I am finding it so very hard. Money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money... [ listening to: Jack Johnson - Sitting, Waiting, Wishing | Gavin DeGraw - I Don't Want To Be | Nine Inch Nails - The Hand That Feeds | Anna Nalick - Breathe (2am) | Howie Day - Collide ]


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