dead men tell no tales...

From the apparently-much-more-hippie-than-I-thought state of Montana: Woman gets 60 month jail sentence when pictures are turned into police of her letting her 18-month old daughter take bong hits. Jeeeeeeebus. From the fucked up alternate reality that is Florida: A 12-year-old car thief was sentenced to 10 years in jail for her crimes, so her mother threatened to blow up the courthouse. Judge did not find her in contempt. Wait for tomorrow's headline of "Crazy bitch blows up fucking courthouse." From Illinois, where apparently, cats are fucking badass: A cat has a scales-to-whiskers staredown with an alligator in its owner's driveway. Your pitbull is impressed. And finally, from nose candy-lovin' Italia: Italians near the Po River snort so much yao, the river is showing signs of penis shrinkage and dealing with these damn nose bleeds... scary.