...and drink no wine, and are therefore no good at parties
From the apparently-much-more-hippie-than-I-thought state of Montana: Woman gets 60 month jail sentence when pictures are turned into police of her letting her 18-month old daughter take bong hits
From the fucked up alternate reality that is Florida: A 12-year-old car thief was sentenced to 10 years in jail for her crimes, so her mother threatened to blow up the courthouse
. Judge did not find her in contempt. Wait for tomorrow's headline of "Crazy bitch blows up fucking courthouse."
From Illinois, where apparently, cats are fucking badass: A cat has a scales-to-whiskers staredown with an alligator
in its owner's driveway. Your pitbull is impressed.
And finally, from nose candy-lovin' Italia: Italians near the Po River snort so much yao, the river is showing signs of penis shrinkage and dealing with these damn nose bleeds