dead men tell no tales...

...and drink no wine, and are therefore no good at parties

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

 

The Destruction of NOLA

I've been trying to avoid blogging about Katrina and the New Orleans situation, mainly because it is quite obviously depressing, but also because I don't really have anything of use or merit to add to the ongoing conversation.

That being said, Billmon over at The Whiskey Bar has something to add to the conversation. That guy is a pretty eloquent writer, in my opinion.

For any wondering about or aware that I have family in Louisiana, apparently they are all fine and accounted-for... according to what I've heard from my parents, Shreveport is so far west ("it's almost Texas," as my mom likes to say), they barely got rained on. So that's good. I'm not familiar with the geography of the Gulf Coast, so until I talked to my folks I wasn't sure what the situation was.

Lots of other people, though... well... it's not good. Thousands dead. Hundreds of billions of dollars in damage. They probably won't even be able to rebuild the city. At least, not at its current site.

RIP New Orleans. The Crescent City. The Big Easy. 1718-2005.


posted by Steve  # 3:19 PM
 

Second of three fantasy drafts over...

And I'm even happier with the outcome of this one. Again, since no one cares: (starting lineup is: 1 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, 1 WR/TE, 1 WR/RB, 1 DEF, 1 K) QB: Marc Bulger, Byron Leftwich RB: LaDainian Tomlinson, Kevin Jones, Ronnie Brown, Jerome Bettis, Frank Gore WR: Terrell Owens, Larry Fitzgerald, Lee Evans, Braylon Edwards, Mike Williams TE: Jason Witten, Heath Miller DEF: New England Patriots, Cincinatti Bengals K: Sebastian Janikowski I think I have 9 players in their first or second year... maybe 10... not sure about Leftwich and Witten... I am so going to own Andy in this league. Rawk.
posted by Steve  # 1:31 PM
 

Parodies are cool.

There are some great parodies out there... like the WhiteHouse.org parody of the real White House site, or the parodying of the general evangelical movement at Landover Baptist Church. Here's a new one (for me)... perhaps some of you have seen/heard of the disgusting home page of the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, KS... GodHatesFags.com... well, since shellfish are also an abomination unto the Lord (Leviticus 11:9-12), then God Hates Shrimp, too. Ugh. The Westboro Baptist Church has an article up titled "Thank God For Katrina." I don't even have the stomach to link it.
posted by Steve  # 11:49 AM
 

Disneyland, Soulcrusher!

From Mickey News:
A Taiwanese envoy to Hong Kong said on Monday that Disneyland tramples on children's imaginations. The scathing criticism by Ping Lu - who blasted Disney in an opinion piece in the South China Morning Post - came about two weeks before the opening of Hong Kong Disneyland. Ping said Hong Kong had become obsessed with Disneyland's September 12 opening, but that her view of the new park was different. "It features a giant Mickey Mouse and Snow White trampling on children's imaginations as they frolic through a desolate and shiny commercial theme park," said Ping. Ping said that television, advertising and the internet were having a negative influence on children, sending messages that promote materialism and consumerism.
Okay... materialism and consumerism, I dig her on that. It's true that Disneyland/DisneyWorld/DisneyEverything is a business, and a massive one at that, worth hundreds of billions in revenues year-in, year-out. But to say that Disneyland... though I haven't been to the Hong Kong one yet (I keep meaning to, but it hasn't opened yet and I only make it to China once a month)... to say that Disneyland "tramples on imagination?" Give me a freakin' break! It might trample on other things... like savings, allowance money, health when you eat their fatty burgers and stuff (at least you know you're walking it off hoofing it around the park)... but imagination? Quite frankly*, imagination is about the only thing Disneyland lets run free anymore. *Stephen A. Smith, please don't sue
posted by Steve  # 8:58 AM

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

 

Long Live the Heart Foundation!

Still alive, bitches. After losing last week, the first loss in a double-elimination tournament, we faced elimination twice tonight. First, against the Non-Athletics, a team we'd beat many times between this year and last. A 20-something-to-single-digits win, and we had to play again against Joe Boo's Rum / The College Studs. We fucking hate these guys. Tight game all around, neck-and-neck with a handful of lead changes. In the bottom of the fifth, playing right field, with a 15-13 lead, I committed a heinous fielding error that, between the play itself and the fact that it should have been the second out, and runs were scored after the actual second out, allowed JBR/TCS to score 4 runs and take a 17-15 lead. Going into the top of the sixth, with mere minutes on the clock, we had to score or face elimination at the hand of... if such a thing exists in D-level softball... our most fierce rivals. A handful of key hits ties the game for us, and yours truly steps up to the dish with two outs and speedy Brent on second base. Game-winning RBI, muthafuckaaaaas! Felt good, too. After a 1-2-3 bottom of the sixth, we took the victory at 18-17. Next Tuesday at 6:30 we play the East Bay Dirt Merchants. If we win, we have to play them again at 7:45 for the title, since they've yet to lose a game in the tournament. WEEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, OF THE LOSERS!!
posted by Steve  # 9:32 PM
 

For those who love MySpace...

Alex Blagg has the perfect MySpace primer for you. Assuming you're male. Funny stuff.
posted by Steve  # 5:02 PM
 

Groovy colors, man!

This is a neat tool for those, like me, who are colorally-disinclined... if that is something that is... Color Schemer Online v2. Using the it's-always-escaped-me "color wheel," Color Schemer shows you the complementary colors to any color you select, thus creating a color scheme. There are also desktop apps for both Windows and OSX, $49 each.
posted by Steve  # 3:27 PM
 

More on Intelligent Design

I updated my previous post on the subject with a link to edge.org, which does not require registration like NYTimes.com. While over at edge.org, I found another interesting article, this one by Scott Atran, that argues against the teaching of Intelligent Design in schools. An excerpt:
Science is not particularly well-suited to deal with problems of human existence that have no enduring logical and or factual solution, such as avoiding death, preventing deception, anticipating catastrophes, overcoming loneliness, finding love or ensuring justice. Science cannot tell us what we ought to do or what should be, only what we can do and what is. Religion endures and thrives because it addresses people's deepest emotional yearnings and society's foundational moral needs.

posted by Steve  # 3:22 PM
 

Danny, you got it backwards

That "Special Major" grad program at CSUEB requires at 2.7 undergrad GPA... not 2.0... yikes. UPDATE 2:07pm - Speaking of requirements... let's see here... SJ State, CSUEB, Mills, Dominican, Santa Clara, Sonoma State, USF... no MA PoliSci SF State... MA PoliSci, req 3.25 undergrad GPA UCB... HAHA yeah right. Grad school can fuck right off. Although, USF does have an MA in Sports Management, designed for professionals to complete in two years... interesting... oh, and a minimum 2.75 undergrad GPA. Yeah. It can fuck right off, it can. UPDATE 9:43pm - Saint Mary's, also no MA PoliSci... though an MFA Creative Writing. Their grad admissions page for it is all 404'd up, however.
posted by Steve  # 1:53 PM
 

Airline fares... odd...

I've been keeping up that previous post about Southwest DING! fares... so far EVERYTHING has been $90. For the last few months, when travel had to be by November 17, the fares out of the Bay Area were always $90-$130... does this mean that I should snap up the $90 fare as soon as Orlando becomes available? Or does it mean that fares might even go lower? Would I be greedy as fuck to hold out for a rate under $180 round trip across the country? Probably. I think I will stick to $90. Of course, that's $90 sans taxes/fees, which look like, on Southwest, they would be around $25 each (round trip, not each way)... so $205 each for the round trip flight would be the cost... other rates right now include $226 on American and $246 on Delta... and with them you can reserve seats... I always said if we could save $25 I would go with Southwest... looks like the rate would be $21 less than American... Weird... those American flights are in to Tampa, not Orlando... that won't work. Fucking Sidestep. UPDATE 1:45pm - Expedia and Orbitz have Delta flights out of Oakland at $253, Travelocity has Delta and Continental flights out of San Jose at $243... even with taxes and fees, Southwest is still definately the cheapest. Delta and Continental (and American, United, Ted, Northwest and Song) are "participating airlines" in Disney's Magical Express... Southwest is not. Though all this means is we wouldn't be able to get boarding passes for our return flight at the hotel. Might not be worth taking into consideration.
posted by Steve  # 1:29 PM

Monday, August 29, 2005

 

According to this...

I will live to age 79, unless I start exercising (at all) and become an "occasional exerciser," which will add 3 years. Cutting out my smoking would add 2 it says, and... I love this... it old me "consuming 2 to 3 alcoholic beverages per day has maximized your life expectancy"... of course, that might be my average over a week, but that includes nights of no drinking, so I'm not sure if it works quite like that...
posted by Steve  # 4:35 PM
 

[the DING! post] I don't know why but...

I think in an effort to see how long it takes to get the Southwest DING! fare we want... either Oakland or San Jose to Orlando for $90 ea way... I'm going to keep a running tab of all Oakland/SJ flights on the DING! system that DON'T match up... Don't ask why, because I don't know. August 29, 3:26pm: Oakland to New Orleans for $90 Oakland to Omaha for $90 San Jose to Cleveland for $90 San Jose to Columbus for $90 San Jose to Tampa for $90 UPDATE! August 30, 8:34am: San Jose to Amarillo for $90 San Jose to Nashville for $90 UPDATE! August 30, 1:29pm: Oakland to Norfolk for $90 San Jose to Louisville for $90 San Jose to Tulsa for $90 UPDATE! August 31, 8:47am: San Jose to Houston Hobby for $90 San Jose to Indianapolis for $90 San Jose to Jackson for $98 UPDATE! August 31, 11:22am: Oakland to Lubbock for $90 Oakland to Philadelphia for $90 San Jose to Raleigh/Durham for $98 UPDATE! September 1, 8:37am: Oakland to Baltimore for $90 Oakland to Corpus Christi for $90 San Jose to Buffalo for $90 UPDATE! September 2, 8:26am: No Oakland or San Jose flights. UPDATE! September 2, 11:57am: Oakland to Buffalo for $90 Oakland to Ft. Myers for $96 San Jose to Providence for $90 UPDATE! September 2, 2:34pm: San Jose to Chicago Midway for $77 San Jose to Manchester for $90 San Jose to Oklahoma City for $90 To be updated as often as I get DING!ed.
posted by Steve  # 3:25 PM
 

Unintelligent Design

The NYT has a very interesting op-ed today on the lack of credibility of Intelligent Design. Very interesting, indeed. UPDATE 8/30 3:20pm - Updated link to go away from the reg-requiring NYTimes.com to the reprint of the article at edge.org.
posted by Steve  # 3:04 PM
 

How stoked am I?

Disneyland in 10 days. Walt Disney World in 103. And... Southwest finally opened up their DING! fares to include our travel dates. So now, when I get a "DING!" fare, I can actually look, not just for research, but with intent to purchase! Now... I just have to hope those $90 one-way fares come back around. $360+tx to get both of us to and from Orlando sounds fucking fine to me! Happy monday, bitches. Oh, and P.S. for Nate if you're reading this. Mark is active on the Pile. FYI.
posted by Steve  # 8:34 AM

Friday, August 26, 2005

 

Ann Coulter... conservative pundit, raging bitch, likely tranny

Two weeks ago in her syndicated column, Ann Coulter wrote the following:
As Republicans were saying repeatedly -- captured on Lexis-Nexis for a year before it showed up in a [Republican pollster] Frank Luntz talking-points memo in 2004 -- the savages have declared war, and it's far preferable to fight them in the streets of Baghdad than in the streets of New York (where the residents would immediately surrender). That strategy appears to be working. Then again, maybe it's just that it's so damnably hard to find parking in New York ...
Then yesterday on Hannity & Colmes, the She-Man clarified and repeated her statements:
COLMES: Is that what that is? You certainly don't feel that New Yorkers are cowards? COULTER: I think they would immediately surrender. COLMES: So you do think that? COULTER: I don't -- I don't think -- I think I'd rather have them trying to invade Mississippi or Georgia, Alabama, you know, the states where I want Cindy Sheehan's bus tour to go.
What a fucking cunt. By the way, the whole "talking head with word stamped on their forehead" trend around here is dying soon, I promise.
posted by Steve  # 1:18 PM

Thursday, August 25, 2005

 

first Fantasy Football draft done

Because everyone gives a shit... I'm in a league with Q the bouncer and his friends, called "Q's House of Pain." Starting lineup is 1 QB, 3 WR, 2 RB, 1 TE, 1 WR/TE, 1 WR/RB, 1 K, 1 DEF... with only 3 bench spots. Here's how i drafted: QB: Kerry Collins, Aaron Brooks WR: Reggie Wayne, Nate Burleson, Ashley Lelie, Santana Moss, Troy Williamson RB: Willis McGahee, Kevin Jones, Brian Westbrook, Travis Henry TE: Chris Cooley K: Lawrence Tynes DEF: Chicago Bears All in all, I drafted 6 of my Top 50 players, in a 12-team league... and got my top 3 RBs all from my Top 25 overall players. Rawk.
posted by Steve  # 7:57 PM
 

Sean Hannity: Fucking Liar, or Fucking Stupid?

Hannity says "some say" Robertson called for Chavez assassination. Yeah, "some" would include the fucking video tape, asshole. I say liar, not stupid. Hannity knows what he said.
posted by Steve  # 4:33 PM
 

Checking some blog stats and...

Want to give a shout out to some of the cities I didn't know existed that people are reading my blog from... Shout out to Acton, MA! Bell, CA! Horsham, PA! Hightstown, NJ! Royal Oak, MI! Lierre, Belgium! Apopka, FL! Falls Church, VA! Germantown, MD! Iqaluit, Canada! Manawa, WI! Warren, MI! Kalispell, MT! Arnhem, Netherlands! Bessemer, AL! Southend-on-sea, England! Hicksville, NY! Kahuku, HI! Rishon Le Zion, Israel! Plus places like New York, Orlando, Vegas, and Toronto, where I don't know anyone and no one should be interested... The obvious culprits (SF, Oakland, SJ, Concord, WC, Martinez, even Chicago (mad holla at ma boy, Russ!)) make up a bulk of the traffic, of course. I promise what pathetic particles of urban "slang" appear here, won't again.
posted by Steve  # 3:41 PM
 

Let the games begin!

I've got my Sporting News magazine. I've got my backup magazine... this year, "Hardcore Fantasy Football" from some Vegas/Offshore betting outfit. I have my ESPN.com printouts I have my personal hot/cold list and my do-not-draft, might-be-injured list. ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?!
posted by Steve  # 2:49 PM
 

Blogger self-referential retro

I've run many websites in the past. The most recent before this one was the now-dead Drunkwisdom.com. My first post on that blog occurred on January 26, 2004... and here it is:

In a world where blogs have become the ultimate cliche, and I should know, I had one admittedly after they stopped being cool, but before the days of LiveJournal and Blogspot, and whatever those other plug-and-play blogs are called, existed. So ask me, and I'll tell you: yeah, this is pretty stupid and unless I'm goddamn sure I have something to say, I should just shut up.

I just didn't want to do my LiveJournal anymore.

I missed the days of running my own blog so I'm back. In the past I was halfinchlimp.com, parsemag.com, ihateyourfavoriteband.com, thesportspub.net, I was involved with drunkgamers.com and the experiemental (as in 'failed experiment') d-ex-m.com... so that's me. And whoever you are, I'm sure that's just dandy.

Now for an aside:

    My Top Five Autobiographical Song-Related Life Moments (in chronological order)
  1. Young MC - 'Pick Up the Pace' (1991) - 'Sang' this song in a fifth grade talent show. Represented the peak of my disillusioned 'wigga' stage. I was so fucking ahead of my time.
  2. Nirvana - 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' (1992) - Like many kids my age, this song knocked my 12-year-old ass out of my 'I wanna be a hip-hoppin MC' stage into my still-extant One Who Loves The Rock stage.
  3. Red Hot Chili Peppers - 'Under the Bridge' (1994) - First slow dance. Eighth grade. Probably popped wood, don't remember. Definately got no play.
  4. Sparklehorse - 'Happy Man (EV11 Mix)' (2002) - First song I was introduced to by my original partner during our first radio show at KCSC in Chico. Confirmed to me that the DJ gig was a perfect way to hear new music. Getting with my partner (yes she was a chick, no she wasn't as cute as I thought at the time) on the other hand, never happened.
  5. Broken Social Scene - 'Looks Just Like the Sun' (2003) - "You Forgot It In People" got stuck in my car stereo for a little over a month right before I graduated from college. Never got tired of this song, and it still brings back fond memories of 100 degree days, 85% humidity, huge gin'n'tonics, and starting a weight loss process that turned my fat ass (can anyone say 285 pounds?) into something respectable and, if nothing else, healthy.

So what was I saying? Right, generic blogger introduction. Hell it must be over by now.

I'll leave you with this: Carolina +7, and take the under. I'm either walking away from next Sunday up about $100 or down about $80. Wish me luck. Or don't, you stinking, rotting bastards.

Looking through the dregs of my nearly-2-year-old web server space can be fun. I seemed a little meaner back then, or maybe that's just my imagination... we are talking the "me" of 19 months ago...

That shit's all gone, though... I cleaned out the server. I have another 16 months of freeness on that server, then it will be time to move (because I don't think 1and1.com will match some of the really good hosting offers out there)... actually, I just felt like cleaning up stevepaulo.com / sp4.us / rendo.us / happiestpageonearth.com / apolloadmedia.com (I think those are my last-left domain names).


posted by Steve  # 2:29 PM
 

Fun on Thursday

Here are a collection of 57 Optical/Visual Illusions. Sure, some might give you a bit of a headache, but they're pretty cool. Try them out.
posted by Steve  # 11:40 AM

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

 

Adlibbed, Lied, Whatever!

Robertson had better learn just to shut the fuck up. Now, he admits to having said "assassination," but maintains the comments were an adlib. So was he lying this morning when he said he never said it, or was that "adlibbed" as well? And are the only important lies scripted ones?
posted by Steve  # 3:56 PM
 

Isn't lying a cardinal sin?

Radical Cleric Robertson is back at it, now denying he ever said "assassination" when talking about Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez:
ROBERTSON: Wait a minute, I didn't say 'assassination.' I said our special forces should, quote, "take him out," and "take him out" can be a number of things including kidnapping. There are a number of ways to take out a dictator from power besides killing him. I was misinterpreted by the AP, but that happens all the time.
Bullshit. Check the link I posted two days ago, watch the video for yourself. Liar.
posted by Steve  # 2:25 PM
 

My new hero

Bill Moyer, 73, wears a "Bullshit Protector" flap over his ear while President George W. Bush addresses the Veterans of Foreign Wars. (AP Photo/Douglas C. Pizac)
posted by Steve  # 10:00 AM
 

New blogroll

So to the left you will see many, many more links than before. I just integrated my Bloglines subscriptions into the site as my blogroll. This also means I don't have links up to any site that doesn't have an RSS feed... I will probably go back and add them later somehow. It's just nice to be able to automatically update my links whenever I subscribe to something cool via Bloglines. Rock.
posted by Steve  # 9:07 AM

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

 

Common Errors in English Usage

I am such a nerd. I could read this entire site. Some of these are particularly painful for me... for example, the use of incorrect prepositions... as described here:
One of the clearest indications that a person reads little and doesn't hear much formal English is a failure to use the right preposition in a common expression. You aren't ignorant to a fact; you're ignorant of it. Things don't happen on accident, but by accident (though they do happen "on purpose" ). There are no simple rules governing preposition usage: you just have to immerse yourself in good English in order to write it naturally.
Mmm-hmm.
posted by Steve  # 3:23 PM
 

Fun with Flickr

This guy has some fun Flickr tools up on his site, and I especially like this one that lets you turn a pic on Flickr into a magazine cover. There's even a Flickr group dedicated to this neat toy. Here's my contribution:

posted by Steve  # 1:07 PM

Monday, August 22, 2005

 

Why am I fascinated by this?

So I recently mentioned that I work with a Blogebrity, Alex Blagg of BlaggBlogg. He's a "B-list" blogeb according to the list... and I was curious... who does that put him ahead of? Who of note is on the C-list? How about comedienne Margaret Cho, Blez of Athletics Nation, brilliantly-scathing liberal poltiblogger Billmon, fat fuck movie reviewer Harry Knowles of Ain't It Cool News... and the best by far... the fucking Donald. This shit is funny.
posted by Steve  # 5:12 PM
 

Lots of Disney World photos...

I recently uploaded basically all of the photos I took in Walt Disney World last December that came out at all. Full size, too, so they could print nice and stuff. Just thought I'd let everyone know. Check them out.
posted by Steve  # 2:19 PM
 

Pat Robertson backs assassinating the Venezuelan President

Because, after all, it is the Christian thing to do. Go get 'im, Pat!
posted by Steve  # 2:18 PM
 

American public, welcome to your awakening

36% (38% among registered voters) Looking forward to 2006 like the Repubs looked forward to 1994...
posted by Steve  # 9:42 AM

Saturday, August 20, 2005

 

Welcome, Disneyites!

So I'd just like to thank John at The Disney Blog for reciprocating the blogroll link back here, and I'd like to welcome those that find this site via TDB... it is a neat site, isn't it? I pretty much blab about myself and what interests me in the world at any given moment... but knowing that some of my visitors are finding me via TDB, I may actually be tempted to post more Disney-related stuff. Time will tell. More later.
posted by Steve  # 9:44 AM

Friday, August 19, 2005

 

G to the Mail

So one interesting thing that I've noticed, now that I've had Gmail for about 13 months or so, is that going back through your old email actually can be interesting. I just stumbled upon a list I submitted to McSweeney's, but on which they passed. So, I'm going to reprint it here, in the format that they should have in the first place, dammit.
French Phrases No Man Should Utter To His Lover While In Bed, Unless, Of Course, She Does Not Understand French, With Translations by Steve Paulo - - - -
"Vous sentez aussi beau que l'âne d'un ours" -- ("You smell as lovely as the ass of a bear") "Votre visage m'incite à pleurer incontrôlablement" -- ("Your face makes me weep uncontrollably") "Votre soeur est étonnante dans le lit" -- ("Your sister is amazing in the sack") "Mais la fille dans la vidéo d'adulte l'a aimée" -- ("But the girl in the porno loved it") "L'essai est revenu positif" -- ("The test came back positive") "Je badinais seulement, je suis vraiment une femme" -- ("I was only kidding, I am really a woman")
Shit. I thought it was funny. Did I ever mention they added a "REASON WE MIGHT SEND BACK OR DISLIKE YOUR SUBMISSION" based specifically on something I sent them? I only know, because they never responded, and then added it... Oh yeah. I did that. Specifically. The list was called "A Quasi-Random Sample of Email Subject Lines From One Dot-Com Company's Customer Service Inbox, Unedited." I rule!
posted by Steve  # 1:52 PM
 

Turns out I work with a Blogebrity.

Yes, there are Blogebrities. Here are the lists of them. Look at the "B-list" Blogebrity list. Alex Blagg (of BlaggBlogg) is the copywriter here at work. Not only did I not know I worked with a Blogebrity... I didn't know that such a thing existed!
posted by Steve  # 1:17 PM
 

Mork for Governor!

One of today's Chron articles drops a little bomb I was unaware of...
"With Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's popularity plummeting, a growing number of Democrats are asking whether state Treasurer Phil Angelides and Controller Steve Westly should be the party's only choices for governor," John Wildermuth and Carla Marinucci report for The San Francisco Chronicle. "Prominent Democrats ranging from San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom and former Rep. Leon Panetta to non-politicians such as businessman Steve Jobs and comedian Robin Williams are mentioned in the quiet conversations of Democratic activists, although no one is saying anything -- at least publicly -- about jumping into the race," Wildermuth and Marinucci report.
Oh hell yeah. The Terminator vs. The Genie. I'll take one liberal comedian to go, please. Mork for Governor!
posted by Steve  # 11:34 AM
 

Oh, the internets and their gems

So occasionally, while scouring Usenet (usually alt.binaries.multimedia.disney.parks) for Disney theme park audio, I occasionally stumble upon other Disney audio...

Like this.

It's the soundtrack from the venerable early-90s classic cartoon block, the Disney Afternoon. Now, apparently, the Disney Afternoon has survived, in one form or another, all through the 90's. And, while there were other shows that came later (Darkwing Duck replaced Gummi Bears after the first season, and Goof Troop replaced DuckTales in the third season), this soundtrack contains songs from the original four shows... Gummi Bears, DuckTales, TaleSpin, and Chip'n'Dale's Rescue Rangers.

And yeah, here's a track listing:

  1. Disney Afternoon Theme
  2. Chip 'N Dale's Rescue Rangers Theme Song
  3. Gummiberry Juice
  4. DuckTales Theme
  5. Home Is Where The Heart Is
  6. Rough, Tough, Burly Sailor Song
  7. Tale Spin Theme
  8. Monkey In Your Tank
  9. Boogie Beagle Blues
  10. Gummi Bears Theme
  11. Friends For Life
  12. I'm Gone
  13. Disney Afternoon Theme (Reprise)

I was soooooo singing the Gummi Bears theme in the car on the way to work.

Oh, by the way, if you'd like to pay money and not download the album, I think you can find it used, on amazon.com, for about $60. Have fun with that.


posted by Steve  # 8:46 AM

Thursday, August 18, 2005

 

Mickey phone!

I want one. Without a faggy outer casing, though. Via BoingBoing.
posted by Steve  # 11:28 AM
 

Every MLB team, as a Simpsons character

Right over here is a list of every MLB team, and the Simpsons character they analogize to. Is analogize a word? Analogy, analogous... whatever. Some notables? New York Yankees = C. Montgomery Burns Oakland Athletics = Bart Simpson San Francisco Giants = Abe "Grandpa" Simpson Atlanta Braves = Ned Flanders Toronto Blue Jays = Bumblebee Man Fun for baseball fans, fun for Simpsons fans... genius when viewed by a fan of both.
posted by Steve  # 11:19 AM

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

 

You despicable political dwarf, we will mercilessly crush you with the weapon of singlehearted unity!

I heart the Database of North Korean Propaganda. Hint: check out the Random Insult Generator. Kim Jong-il is funny. Or, at least, he would be, if he weren't the dictator of a communist nuclear power.
posted by Steve  # 4:19 PM
 

Current? Events.

Kos over at DailyKos has printed a whole slew of quotes from the opposition party about the President's use of troops abroad:
"You can support the troops but not the president."
"Well, I just think it's a bad idea. What's going to happen is they're going to be over there for 10, 15, maybe 20 years."
"Explain to the mothers and fathers of American servicemen that may come home in body bags why their son or daughter have to give up their life?"
"[The] President . . . is once again releasing American military might on a foreign country with an ill-defined objective and no exit strategy. He has yet to tell the Congress how much this operation will cost. And he has not informed our nation's armed forces about how long they will be away from home. These strikes do not make for a sound foreign policy."
"American foreign policy is now one huge big mystery. Simply put, the administration is trying to lead the world with a feel-good foreign policy."
"If we are going to commit American troops, we must be certain they have a clear mission, an achievable goal and an exit strategy."
"I had doubts about the bombing campaign from the beginning . . I didn't think we had done enough in the diplomatic area."
"I cannot support a failed foreign policy. History teaches us that it is often easier to make war than peace. This administration is just learning that lesson right now. The President began this mission with very vague objectives and lots of unanswered questions. A month later, these questions are still unanswered. There are no clarified rules of engagement. There is no timetable. There is no legitimate definition of victory. There is no contingency plan for mission creep. There is no clear funding program. There is no agenda to bolster our over-extended military. There is no explanation defining what vital national interests are at stake. There was no strategic plan for war when the President started this thing, and there still is no plan today"
"Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the President to explain to us what the exit strategy is."
Of course, these quotes aren't from Democrats, and they aren't about Shrub's use of troops in Iraq... these are quotes from Republicans, responding to Bill Clinton's commitment of troops to Bosnia, a military action that resulted in... wait for it... zero American military losses. Not one. Who are the speakers above? In order, they are Representative Tom DeLay (R-TX), Representative Joe Scarborough (R-FL) (now a talking head on MSNBC), Fox News talking head Sean Hannity, Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA), DeLay again, Karen Hughes speaking on beahlf of Governor George W. Bush (R-TX), Senator Trent Lott (R-MS), DeLay once more, and Governor Bush a second time. How the songs of the birds hawks can change...
posted by Steve  # 2:10 PM
 

Comment spam is assy

To Daryl and Russ and anyone else concerned with/attacked by blog comment spam (see the assault on Russell here), Six Apart, the makers of Typepad and Movable Type, have a good article/FAQ on blog comment spam over yon. Some of their solutions are specific to MT or TP, but some are usable by anyone. Blog spam sucks ass. Worse than email spam. I have to agree with Daryl that it is a scourge as disgusting as child pornography. Okay. Maybe I'm taking that a bit far. Still. It's assy. I wonder why Russ got hit so bad? Does he get more traffic than me? I'm around 15-25 visits per day... or is it that Google AdWords thing? Did that attract more attention to his blog? The answers MUST be discovered!!
posted by Steve  # 9:28 AM

Monday, August 15, 2005

 

My feet hurt.

I burned the shit out of my feet over the weekend, wearing flip-flops to the A's game and drinking enough to not think "Hey, fucko, go get yourself some sunscreen!" At least the A's won that game. I've mentioned a lot lately about the trip Heather and I are taking to Walt Disney World in December. 117 days away. But I have neglected to make a big deal about that fact that in a mere 24 days, she and I will find ourselves in Disneyland, staying at the Disneyland Hotel and having a great time. Unfortunately for us, two marquee attractions... the Haunted Mansion, and California Screamin'... will be down while we're there. At HM, they'll be putting on the overlay for the "Haunted Mansion Holiday" ride, themed after the film Nightmare Before Christmas, while Screamin' is closed because people got hurt a little while back, and DOSH is still going to be investigating, in all likelihood, in three and a half weeks. But at least Heather and I were able to ride both those rides back in February. And, the three main attractions that were closed last February... the Enchanted Tiki Room, Splash Mountain, and Space Mountain... will all be open for us. Rock on. I am such a geek. But I love it.

posted by Steve  # 3:35 PM

Friday, August 12, 2005

 

Disney's Coronado Springs Resort

So, like I mentioned yesterday, Heather and I now officially have our room reservations in Walt Disney World, December 11th-17th, at the Coronado Springs. I mentioned this resort back in April, but wanted to share a couple more pictures... The resort is on the newer side (built in 1997), and is made up of three sections... The first is the Casitas: The Casitas sections is themed with Mexican/Latin American villas and fountains, meant to look like (an obviously Disneyfied) a Mexican city setting. Heather and I would be fine staying here, it looks very nice, but isn't our first choice. The second area is the Ranchos: The Ranchos section has a more rustic, American Southwest feel to it. Lots of cacti and gravel. We're really not interested in staying in this section. The third area, and the one we would love to stay in, is the Cabanas: The Cabanas section is themed after places like Cabo San Lucas and Puerto Vallerta. It's all bungalows and beach on the shores of Lago Dorado, hammocks between palm trees, and pirate treasure chests left in the sand. Romantic, relaxing, and very, very cool. Apparently, we can call CRO (the Central Reservations Office) at any time and make our requests... water view, non-smoking, Cabanas, please! Here are some more pics from around the resort: This is the lobby/main building, called "El Centro": This is their killer, amazing pool with a freakin' Mayan pyramid and shit: And here is a map of the resort: Can you tell I'm excited?
posted by Steve  # 9:14 AM

Thursday, August 11, 2005

 

It's official

I just made the actual reservations for 6 nights at Disney's Coronado Springs Resort this December. Got a rate of $119/night (20% off thanks to AAA). This makes it official... Heather and I will be in Walt Disney World in 4 months to the day. Happy 7 months, sweet pea.
posted by Steve  # 4:57 PM
 

The Amazing A's

The A's just beat the Whittier Angels of San Bernardino County, and with that victory, take 1st place in the American League West. Let that sink in. Now get this... On May 29th of this year... just 75 days ago, the A's were 17-32. That mark put them 12 and a half games behind the Angels in the AL West, and was better than only two teams in all of baseball... the hapless Kansas City Royals and Colorado Rockies. In the last 75 days, the A's have posted a ridiculous 49-16 record, and now sit at 66-48, good for first place in the AL West, and worse than only 3 teams in all of baseball: the division-leading Boston Red Sox (by a half-game), St. Louis Cardinals, and ludicrously-on-fire Chicago White Sox. This is a remarkable turnaround. In addition to leading their division, the A's are 4 games better than the Indians and 5 games better than the Yankees... so a Wild Card run would be in the cards if the Angels were to heat up again (or, god forbid, the Amazing A's start to slump). If the A's can sustain their killer tear, winning better than three out of four games, they will finish with a gaudy 102-60 record... they haven't broken the 100 win barrier since 2002, when Barry Zito won the Cy Young Award. It's a good time to be an A's fan, that much is for certain. UPDATE (8-12-2005 @ 11:01am): Baseball Prospectus discusses our A's today. Rawk.
posted by Steve  # 3:52 PM
 

sometimes life goes and interrupts you...

I think I may need to reevaluate some of my dietary choices... My friend Ben has been a skinny dude ever since, well, at least senior year of high school (I remember a rounder face when we were freshmen). I haven't seen him in a while, but he just got back from touring the U.S., Europe and Japan with his band, Funeral Diner, and apparently he's really, really skinny. Now Ben has diabetes. I guess it just goes to show how little I know about the disease... I thought it was something that, when it set on after childhood, affected overweight people... not those who were potentially on the "underweight" side of the scale. Obviously, I was wrong. Ben's got peeps. His peeps are thinking about him. Ben's gonna be fine.
posted by Steve  # 9:27 AM

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

 

I have been feeling a disturbance in the Force...

Okay not really. That's just my lame-ass excuse for not blogging much lately. I recently found a good use for my shitty laptop... it's an old IBM ThinkPad 760xl, a 166MHz Pentium processer, 104(??)MB of RAM, a 2.1GB HDD, and a 4x CD-ROM (swappable with a 1.44MB FDD)... I found a copy of MS-DOS 6.22 (the last version available before Windows95 came out) and loaded it on there... now I can play all my favorite old DOS games, like the Sierra On-Line and LucasArts adventure games and stuff... DOSGames.com is about to become my favorite site (though, thanks to Usenet, I've already grabbed @ 120 games). Yay!
posted by Steve  # 10:52 AM

Monday, August 08, 2005

 

not even sure who to hate....

So I just finished translating a new PSD to HTML for a client's email template. Got it looking all perfect 'n shit in Firefox, then was going to send it back to the designer for comments/tweaks/etc... And I thought, "dude wait, you have to check this in IE." Of course, I was right, the vast majority of our clients' consumers use IE over Safari, Firefox, Opera, etc... And of course, it looked like complete shit in IE, for no good reason. I code to (essentially) W3C standards. So I tweaked and prodded and poked and finally got it looking perfect in IE... and it looks like ass in standards-compliant Firefox. And I know why, it's because I had to do some things that are completely against standards to make this sucker look right in IE... but market share is market share and our clients' consumers need to be able to read this shit. Anyway, if you have access to both Firefox and IE, you can see what a difference a browser makes. Dammit.
posted by Steve  # 1:53 PM

Friday, August 05, 2005

 

Something Awful Strikes Again

Today's Photoshop Phriday, a take on public service announcements from the Ad Council, is racially insensitive, offensive, and indecent. Oh yeah, and fucking hilarious, too... for a sample:
UPDATE (2:21pm): Wow! Even Adrants mentioned these spoofs... very cool!
posted by Steve  # 11:46 AM
 

In this morning's news...

From the apparently-much-more-hippie-than-I-thought state of Montana: Woman gets 60 month jail sentence when pictures are turned into police of her letting her 18-month old daughter take bong hits. Jeeeeeeebus. From the fucked up alternate reality that is Florida: A 12-year-old car thief was sentenced to 10 years in jail for her crimes, so her mother threatened to blow up the courthouse. Judge did not find her in contempt. Wait for tomorrow's headline of "Crazy bitch blows up fucking courthouse." From Illinois, where apparently, cats are fucking badass: A cat has a scales-to-whiskers staredown with an alligator in its owner's driveway. Your pitbull is impressed. And finally, from nose candy-lovin' Italia: Italians near the Po River snort so much yao, the river is showing signs of penis shrinkage and dealing with these damn nose bleeds... scary.
posted by Steve  # 10:03 AM

Thursday, August 04, 2005

 

'Ockey, eh!

I had this big post written up about how the Sharks were trying to get Scott Niedermayer, a veteran defensman who is one of many players up for grabs in the current crazy NHL post-salary-cap free agent market. Then he went to go play with his brother Rob in Anaheim. Oh well. Apparently the Sharks are still gunning for winger Paul Kariya who averages 31.1 goals per season (37.6 in season where he plays at least 70 games), and had a high of 50 goals/108 points in 95-96... though recently, his numbers haven't been quite that good. Still, Kariya's a leader and would be a good addition to the Sharks squad... Though I'd rather have had Niedermayer, especially after blueliner Mike Rathje... a San Jose draft pick in 1992... left to the Philadelphia Flyers, along with a bunch of other brand-new flyers (including superstud Peter Forsberg). Anyway, go Sharks!
posted by Steve  # 1:09 PM
 

What the fuck is wrong with Floridians?

I'm glad I like to cuddle... this guy gives sports fans a baaaaaad name. I promise more later. And maybe more than just links to shit.
posted by Steve  # 10:08 AM

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

 

I know, I know... lay off...

I know I link to Something Awful a lot, but this article, a Cliff's Notes-esque review of R.Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet", is hi-la-ri-ous!! (unfortunately for me, hil.ario.us is not an available domain name... especially with the halfinchlimp.com reference in the subdomain!) Anyway, go read the R.Kelly thing. Funny.
posted by Steve  # 2:27 PM
 

How shitty is Southwest Airlines?

Does anyone know? Because they just "dinged" me with a $96 one-way fare from San Jose to Orlando... now, I can't get this one, because you have to fly by 11/17, and Heather and I need flights on 12/10 or 12/11, and on 12/17... but still. $384 +tax for two round-trippers to MCO? Sign me up. But I've never flown SWA... How much of the balls do they hoark and slobber? Anyone have a comment?
posted by Steve  # 8:49 AM

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

 

more later, but for now...

It doesn't work just yet, but soon you will be able to access this blog at the very neat web address hor.rendo.us, which, yes, is a direct ripoff of del.icio.us... sue me!
posted by Steve  # 2:52 PM

Monday, August 01, 2005

 

Happy monday morning!

Some people are sick and need to die. Really.
posted by Steve  # 10:07 AM

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